week two – observation continuing

…a little late… but i’m here!

… during this week I felt pressed between the work… so difficult to find time…and finnally ive had a little idea: this is not true.
I was writing my dmp and my first think was “I cannot do that”.
In the same time I’ve relized that it’s the phrase more common im my mind. It sounds so strange to realize that!
In my life I have quite succes, but i cannot reach some point that for me it’s really important… that phrase ” you cannot do” is the oldest phrase that I remember.

In a certain way it’s the first time that i realized how many times I tell to myself that phrase. It comes from longtime ago.

This is somenthing related to my family maybe the social situation where I was grow up, I’m sure. In this moment, it’s great to have understood that…
Exactly today I’m felt more relaxed, and I saw at all my family in a thifferent way. This comes also from my to be buddist, but today it was very interesting becouse I understood better that little trick that I have in mysel from long time ago.

In a certai way I understood exactly what I need for changing that “cement” that give me the basis not usefull to fly. I’m buddist and I can understand very well that the outside comes from the inside, but in thath moment I’ve done a little step more.

We need all the tools that we can find to try make ourself shining as we are in reality. We forgot that we can do impressiv things.

Andrea 🙂

Annunci

[week one]…we start….

Hi Everyone!
first at all thank you for that opportunity.
Honestly for me there are several aspects challenging in that new adventure. Firstly the language difficulty to exprime myself in deep about thoughts and feelings in English, but it’s the easier one.
Google translate it’s not enought… but thank you to exist 😉

More demanding it’s try to mantain an open mind. In a certain way I can see all judgement, all the tricks that my mind is using for remove my focus on my staying here. So I start to feel all rules, all emails, all materials and stuff to do as an “enormous” pressure.
My mind starts immediatelly to say:
“I’ve have a lot of stuff to do for my work, I havent time to stay here and spend all this preciouse seconds”.

So it’s a strange feeling for me… I can start to whatch a video, I can start to read some pdf material… and after 10-20 minutes my mind starts. My mind become my personal wormtongue (if I can borrow a word by the Lord Of the rings).

I know why I’m here, I see what myself do -trough my mind- in order to stay in the same situation. It’s longtime taht I know….
But if I’m here it’s becouse i really want change … and I need to repeat to myself every 10 or 20 minutes exactly that, and push me trought every dubts…

In that moment I’m only an observator of myself… but with a smile becouse I can see every things that happen.

Keep seeing and evolving…

Hugs
Andrea.